MirrorMusic Page 2

  I knew for a fact one of them did when he got carried away. In the heat of the moment he’d been known to give my inner thighs quite a nip.

  I swallowed and felt the burly security man’s gaze on me. I looked up. His eyes were a piercing, glacial blue.

  “You okay, Miss?” he asked. “You look kind of starstruck.”

  “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Not starstruck though, this is more like coming face to face with a ghost.”

  He raised his brows and his forehead creased into several pudgy lines.

  I ignored his confusion and stepped into the jumbled, guitar-and amp-littered room. The lights were dim and several low sofas were strewn around.

  The smell was overwhelming. Spiced aftershave and heat. Fresh sweat and sweet beer tangled with pepperoni pizza and garlic bread.

  Around a long white table groaning under the weight of food sat the four guys who made up Manic Machines. Laughing, talking, eating and drinking.

  They didn’t look up at my entry.

  I spotted Robbie instantly. He was in profile, his chiseled features highlighted perfectly by a low table lamp as he chugged on a Beck’s. He looked hot and flushed, black locks of his hair clung to his nape and there was a rise of color on his cheek.

  “Hi, Sylvia,” Dean said through a mouthful of pizza. His brooding eyes slid to me. “Who you got there?”

  Sylvia stepped sideways so that I was in full view of the table. “Jenny,” she said. “This is Jenny Calahan.”

  The hum of conversation froze.

  Silence claimed the room.

  I didn’t take my eyes from Robbie. He placed his bottle of beer on the table and turned, slowly, to face me.

  His intense green gaze harnessed mine as he sucked a drip of froth off his top lip. His chest rose sharply as if he’d hitched in a breath; his nostrils flared. He cleared his throat and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “You came,” he said quietly.

  “You sent me a ticket.” I paused. “And a backstage pass.”

  One side of his mouth tilted in a grin and his cheek dimpled in a familiar way. “I didn’t think you’d use it.”

  “Which, the ticket or the pass?”

  “Either.” He stood, scraping back the legs of his chair on the hard floor. “But I’m glad you did. Come on, join us.”

  “I, er, I don’t know. I thought maybe there was just something you wanted to say and then…” I glanced at the doorway. “And then I’ll get on my way.”

  Robbie smiled. “Of course I’ve got something to say. But eat first. I’m starved.”

  Sylvia placed another chair at the table and I looked around at the male faces staring up at me expectantly. Ian carried on chewing pizza but his mouth tilted in a lopsided grin. Tim and Dean, brothers, stared at me with identical blue eyes. Tim chewed the inside of his cheek while Dean popped open a beer with a bottle opener in the shape of a naked lady.

  “Sit,” Robbie said, touching the back of my knees with the chair so I had no choice but to fold onto it. “It’s been a while but I remember how much you like to gorge on pizza.”

  “It’s not all he remembers about you,” Dean said, lifting his bottle to his lips and flashing me a naughty grin.

  I swallowed a rise of nerves and fought a flush spreading on my chest and around the back of my scalp. I didn’t feel in the slightest bit hungry.

  “It’s good to meet you,” Ian said. “We’ve heard ‘Jenny this’ and ‘Jenny that’ for so bloody long.” He crunched down on a wedge of garlic bread.

  “Yeah, all right,” Robbie said, leaning across me for a slice of ham and pineapple. “I can take it from here, guys.”

  “Yeah, sure you can,” Tim huffed. “That’s why you had to name a song after her just to get her here.”

  I shifted on the chair, uncomfortable with being the topic of conversation.

  “I’m sorry,” Robbie said, turning to me with a concerned glint in his eye. “They’re a bunch of morons.” He swung a stern glare at his bandmates, then looked back at me. “We’ll get out of here in a sec.” He grinned, flashing his perfect white teeth. “We’ll go somewhere alone, pumpkin.”

  I caught my breath at the pet name I hadn’t heard for so long. One Halloween, Mum had made me dress up in an orange pumpkin costume that made me look as if I’d swallowed a rhinoceros. Robbie had laughed so hard he’d almost peed himself when I’d stepped out of the house. Just ’cause he’d looked all cool in a skeleton outfit with luminous bones on his chest and hips.

  His face turned serious. “I’m glad you came. I’d almost given up hope that you would.”

  “Why didn’t you just ring me, you know the usual way of contacting someone? Writing songs and sending tickets—it’s all a bit unconventional.”

  “Ain’t nothing conventional about our Robbie,” Ian said. I raised my brows at him. As if I didn’t know that already.

  Robbie shrugged. “I just wanted you to be part of my world for a while, see how it is for me.”

  “What, eating pizza and drinking with your mates?”

  “Exactly, eating pizza and having a beer with mates.” He grinned and shoved a hand through his damp hair. It stayed sticking up over his right ear and my hand twitched to smooth it back down. But he wasn’t mine to touch so I curled my fingers so tight my nails dug into my palms and looked around the table at the faces I’d seen on posters and on MTV. The strange thing was they were looking at me with equal fascination. As if I was some curiosity, someone they were fascinated with.

  Clearly I had been discussed at considerable length.

  A bubble of anxiety popped low in my stomach and I wondered just what Robbie had told them. We’d been young and lust-crazed, our hormones out of control. And once we’d had sex that first time there was no stopping us—not for three steamy years. We went for it every opportunity we could, trying out new positions, new ideas, new and risky locations.

  “Do you still use vanilla shampoo?” Dean asked me suddenly.

  My heart fluttered in my chest. “Er, no, not anymore.”

  “Shame,” he said. “I liked the way Robbie described it. It made you sound good enough to eat.”

  Robbie gave a little huff of amusement. “Yeah,” he said, looking at me with a twinkle in his eye. “It did make her good enough to eat.”

  “I have to go,” I said. This conversation was sending me to toe-curling hell. Clearly Robbie hadn’t wanted to do anything more than embarrass me. “It was nice to meet you all,” I said, swinging a gaze around at Tim, Dean and Ian. “Robbie,” I said, “I’m glad it’s worked out so well for you, the concert was great, but I have an early start in the lab tomorrow and it’s already late.”

  “No, don’t go,” Robbie said, jumping up and grabbing my upper arm. “Hang on just a sec.” He turned to Sylvia, who was hovering by the door. “Can you get a car? I need to take Jenny home.”

  His fingers pressed through the soft material of my hoody and sent a snake of sensations long forgotten up my shoulder and into my chest.

  “It’s important,” he said, lowering his head to mine. “It’s important that we talk.”

  I heard Sylvia order a car on her mobile. “It’s waiting,” she said to Robbie as she clicked the phone shut.

  Robbie let go of my arm and paced to one of the sofas. He dragged on a loose, black sweater and shoved a wallet, keys and a phone into the front pockets of his jeans. “Come on,” he said, slipping an arm around my waist and steering me to the door. “This is long overdue.”

  Chapter Two

  The sleek black chauffeured Jaguar sped through the traffic like silk slipping through fingers. Robbie and I sat in silence surrounded by the smell of new leather and brushing droplets of rain from our clothes. I twisted my fingers in my lap and looked out the densely tinted windows at the blurring lights of Park Lane and Marble Arch, Harrods and Selfridges.

  My mind was in a whir. What was going on? My body was buzzing. Was I really with Robbie, after all this time? “Where are we going?�
�� I asked as an apprehensive lump grew in my belly.

  “Home.”

  I looked across at him. There were small lines at the corners of his eyes that hadn’t been there the last time I’d seen him. “Whose home?”

  “Mine.” He grinned and reached for my knotted hand. “And it’s Sunday tomorrow, Jenny, so unless you work in a 24/7 laboratory then I very much doubt you have to be there early.”

  My gut clenched. My hastily spun lie had been ridiculously weak. I stared out the window again and let his warm, smooth hand stroke over mine. It was so familiar—his touch. It was Robbie. But it wasn’t my Robbie. He was something else, someone different. “And when we get to yours?” I asked. “Then what?”

  “We talk, about us.”

  I turned to him. “We were finished a long time ago. I don’t understand where all this has come from. The song and the tickets.”

  He reached forward and hit a small black button. A solid screen slid silently up between us and the driver, sealing us in privacy. “I miss you,” he said with a shrug. “And I couldn’t go on living without finding out if you missed me too.”

  I’d missed him since the day we’d separated. I missed him so much there were times when I wondered if the ache would ever go away. It was why no one special had ever broken their way into my life or heart since the split. It was why I’d thrown myself headfirst into my research. “I missed you too,” I confessed quietly, searching the depths of his eyes. They were the same as they’d always been. They hadn’t changed over the years. A ring of brown circled the green iris and flecks of gold sat at their depths.

  He slid across the seat. His shadowed face was so close now. His lips a whisper away from mine. Suddenly he was my Robbie again, there was nothing different about him at all. I swallowed tightly and remembered the flavor of his tongue, the feel of his hair tangled in my fingers and the texture of his flesh rubbing against mine when we were sweaty and naked. How could I still want him after he’d hurt me so much? After all this time apart? It didn’t make sense, but the deeply carnal desires building in me were so powerful, so demanding, it was bowling me over and taking control of my every thought and emotion.

  “Do you remember how we used to be so damn good together?” he asked in a breathy whisper, leaning in closer still. “Before I went and fucked it all up.”

  I stared into his hypnotizing eyes.

  “Maybe I should remind you,” he murmured. He dipped his head and sealed his lips against mine, soft and gentle and oh so sexy. Once again a rush of memories flooded my mind, images of him kissing me at the school gate, the disco in the town hall, the tent at the end of his garden.

  He probed past my teeth and into my mouth, caressing and searching. Our tongues tangled. The kiss heated up and a hot, desperate tug pulled at my abdomen and between my thighs. Robbie was kissing me. Was this real or would I open my eyes and be hot, flustered and alone with another tremor vibrating deep in my belly?

  His hands caught my face, his fingertips slotted into my hair. I opened my eyes. Robbie was still there, he was real.

  Suddenly I was consumed by a great tidal wave of lust. It was desperate, burning me alive, taking absolute possession of me. Grasping for his shoulders, I sank my tongue into his mouth with ten times more force than he’d kissed me. I had to have him. I had to have him now. Hell to the consequences, I would grab what I could while I had the chance.

  His mouth responded with the same urgency I felt and he tightened his grip on my head. I fed off his taste and his tongue, sating a need that had been simmering unquenched for too long.

  “Jenny, oh god, Jenny, I want you, I need you,” he groaned. His breaths were coming hard and fast. “And I can’t wait another damn second for you.”

  “So don’t,” I half said, half growled as I pressed him back against the seat with my body. Rising and straddling his thighs, a hard, wonderfully familiar thickness greeted me as I sat down on his lap.

  He gasped. “Oh god, are you sure?”

  “Yes. Yes, I’m sure.” It was all I could think of, getting him inside me, filling that hole of loneliness and need. I lifted up, stooping and wriggling, and in a second I had looped off the right leg of both my jeans and my panties. I glanced at the back window, relieved to see that too was heavily tinted, the headlights behind us a vague and blurry prism.

  Our lips hit together again, hungrily kissing one another as his hands explored the contours of my exposed butt cheeks, dipping into the cleft, up to the small of my back and down to the backs of my thighs.

  His touch was electric, sending spikes of yearning to my pussy and clit as I fumbled and yanked at his jeans. Despite his astronomical wealth he still went without boxers and his hot, thick cock sprang into my palm. He groaned as I tightened my fist around the marble-smooth shaft, and with my thumb found the strong pulse point just below the center of the head. “Condom,” I breathed onto his lips.

  He muttered and fumbled for his wallet. Produced a blue foil-wrapped condom and ripped it with his teeth. With deft, experienced fingers he slid it on just before the car accelerated and pressed our chests together.

  My body was alive, on fire, it had been a while since I’d had sex. I hadn’t been able to find the same enthusiasm for bedroom action since Robbie and I’d broken up. But now, like a volcano of desire, I erupted. I wanted him so bad I actually, physically hurt. Between my legs was chaos, a wet, pulsating inferno of lust demanding attention.

  My hands clasped convulsively at his sweater as clumsily, frantically I took the tip of his cock into my entrance and began to sink onto him. But I’d only taken him an inch or two when his hips thrust up in one powerful surge. His cock pushed in, hard and determined. I cried out and squeezed my eyes shut. A dagger of pain mixed with my pleasure. I’d forgotten just how much I had to concentrate on relaxing to accommodate Robbie. He was big. Big, thick and solid.

  “I’m sorry, oh god, I’m so sorry, Jenny,” he said, stilling. Remorse seared through his eyes.

  “No, it’s okay,” I said in a strained voice, willing myself to relax around his shaft. “Please, don’t stop, don’t stop, Robbie. It’s okay.”

  His mouth captured mine, his tongue dipping in as his hands encircled my waist. I pressed downward until he was butting up against my cervix, filling and owning me, and began to rock, my clit grinding wonderfully against his hard pubis and his wiry pubic hair. An emergency siren traveling in the opposite direction wailed past flashing its blue neon lights around the darkened car. Oh god, what the hell were we doing? What the hell was I doing? I didn’t care, I was possessed by my lust. There was a devil in me that had taken control. Satisfaction in the form of a big, wonderful orgasm was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that was going to happen next.

  “Oh shit, this isn’t gonna do my fucking ego any good,” Robbie grunted. “I can’t last long. It feels too fucking awesome. It’s been too long without you, Jenny.”

  “Me neither,” I gasped, my swollen clit gyrating against him as my hips danced and weaved, hitting the spot just right. I grabbed for his hair, clawed it with my fingers. “Robbie, ah, it’s here. Oh god, yes…now…come with me.”

  As my orgasm raged I tasted blood in my mouth. Trying to keep quiet for the sake of the driver had meant a painful meeting of my bottom lip and teeth. Robbie didn’t succeed in keeping his pleasure inaudible and groaned deep and carnal as he gave an almighty thrust into my clenching, spasming pussy. The car jolted over a pothole, which ground us even harder together at the height of our pleasure. “Argh, fuck, Jenny,” he cried out, holding my head tight and kissing me as if he would never stop. As if he would never remove himself from my body.

  The car paused and we stopped kissing. On the other side of the dark glass I heard music thumping from an adjacent car. I lifted from him, my limbs weak, my mind disoriented. Still breathless I pulled on my knickers and jeans and pushed my hair over my shoulders.

  He was panting hard too as he yanked off the condom and tucked himself
back in. We both flopped back against the seat, not touching. Silent. Oh, my god, what had I done? I couldn’t be trusted to be alone with Robbie for two minutes. Two minutes was all it had taken and I was shucking out of my clothes and welcoming him inside me. A wave of shame tickled my scalp and traveled down my neck, but it couldn’t dampen the pulsating satisfaction that had settled blissfully between my legs. What I had done might have been wrong, reckless, against every sensible rule I’d ever set myself—but it damn well felt so off-the-scale good that there was no way I would ever regret it.

  The car slowed and rolled to a stop. The driver opened my door and I scooted out, straightening my clothes and dragging in a lungful of cool night air, hoping it might help my lost sanity and nonexistent self-control. I looked up at the glass and steel building set amongst the Georgian town houses. “Nice pad,” I said with an approving nod, trying to behave as if I hadn’t just had a swift but mind-blowing orgasm.

  “Thanks.” Robbie stood next to me and looked up into the damp night sky. I was aware of his body heat radiating on to my cheek as he leaned in to murmur, “But technically it’s Ian’s. He moved to the country with Nina and the little one a while back. He’s supposed to be putting it on the market but I got hold of the key. I kinda like it and I’m thinking about buying it.” He curled his arm around my waist and pulled me until my hip rested on the hard outer edge of his thigh. “Perhaps you could let me know what you think.”

  I looked up at him but he was already urging me forward through the mist toward the rotating brass doors.

  We rode the lift, again in silence. I watched the numbers ping up and my heart fluttered at the memory of his words He missed me. He couldn’t go on living without finding out if I missed him too.

  I missed him like I would miss all four limbs and we were clearly still good together, like really good together. But could I be so masochistic as to let Robbie in again? Really? Could I? He would break me, take out my soul and spin it around until I didn’t know which way was up and which way was down. It had taken me six months to stop crying at the mere mention of his name last time. I couldn’t go through it again. I should never have let it go this far. I should have put those damn tickets and pass straight in the bin and not given them another thought.